wakey wakey hands off snakey
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You can't motorboat a personality
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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