i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
