You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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