My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
