You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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