How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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