I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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