Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
