ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
