She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ugly people sure do ruin things
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
