I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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