everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
