yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
