You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
