the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize