Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
