I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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