Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
