I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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