White coat. Heels.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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