In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
