She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
