Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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