Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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