i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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