You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The air was thick with penises
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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