He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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