Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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