Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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