I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
