I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize