we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
