The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we should paint friendship bongs
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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