i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize