Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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