There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
