I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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