yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
there was a trapeze. enough said
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
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Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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