best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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