I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
