in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
