so that wasnt chicken after all
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
