we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
