Sponge bath it is.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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