Duck Duck Cougar?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
