how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
