Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
