You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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