the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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