i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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