I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
