so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
