Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
