Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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