Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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