I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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