There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
