nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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