dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
