I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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