Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
