wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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