I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
