I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
